5 Ways To Be a Guru at Anything in No Time

If you want to be a guru these are the 5 ways or keys to achieving that goal.
5. Fake it til you make it! I mean why the hell would you actually want to be successful at a niche when you can just pretend you're an expert!? Just go on the internet and memorize the most common yet basic bits of information then voila slap together a little product and you are officially an expert!
4. Find something that has been around in your niche for a few decades that isn't the most talked about subject, and put a new fancier name on it! Why would you do that? Because this is getting to guru status not actually creating something on your own! Ain't nobody got time for that bullshit!
3. Take something free that already exists that everyone already has throw some silly ass name on it that's 2 separate words together for no damn reason in particular other than that's catchier and more people will buy your shit! Reason for this? If you're gonna be a "true guru" you've got to be okay with being a complete piece of shit! Anything to get the suckers money!
2. Spend more time inflating numbers than actually doing anything! You heard of something or read a blog post on it for the first time 2 years ago? Hell sounds like you've been in the game almost 5 years in guru years! You've actually done a couple of things in your business? Take what ever dollar amount you've made and report that number in pennies!
1. Always "do the impossible" and make it sound simpler than dissecting a frog for a guy with no thumbs! Definitely remember that being a guru takes no real work! All you need is the perception of "doing work"! 

Anyway on a serious note nobody should want to be a guru! There is no easy way to the top! If you want to get there work your ass off and don't waste your time trying to live up to the product pushers standards! Working your ass off doesn't mean being a pest to somebody you look up to either! Asking every detail of a transaction twice down to what flavor of bubblicious they had that day! Most people don't mind helping anybody ,but if they have a mentoring or coaching program they sell don't try to bullshit your way to freebie coaching! If you can't make any real effort besides bugging the hell out of somebody you don't deserve the success you seek! There is no easy way work hard and actually become an expert in your chosen field!

Super Bowl Thoughts

A blowout that turned into a great game...
Single greatest halftime show of all time...
The Galaxy Note 2 is just big and isn't a phone trend attempt worth a shit...
The Rock gained 40 lbs of muscle and no one says anything?
Pay half the bill get half the lights?
Go Daddy commercials can just go...
Joe Flacco is finally "elitish"...
Why the hell was Ray Lewis wearing no pants?
I wouldn't be opposed to HarghBowl 2 next year...
P.S. Kelly Rowland really could be the only person to stand next to Beyonce and not just be "background dressing"...

Poorest Job Performance In America

If you workout and take powdered supplements especially protein you already know the answer...Hands down the winner is the guy who counts the number of servings in supplement tubs... "29 well I'm just gonna throw in 78 just to be sure since this shit is overpriced anyways."
As a consumer I appreciate the shittyness that you perform your job with though! Keep up the terrible work and keep sticking it to your bosses!

Once Upon A Time In Mexico...

I've been a blogger for a few years and had some success with getting readers and all that fun stuff. I always wondered how and why to an extent,but never really asked anyone why in the Hell they followed so closely. Now you have to realize it was to a very small extent, because those aren't the types of things I worry about... Weirdly enough I am more like "Jack's Complete Lack of Giving a Shit." Anyways on with the story on a recent hunting trip to Mexico I was completely surprised when a guy recognized me from my old blog... He read it because it actually had human qualities and wasn't your typical stick up the ass, know-it-all, my way is the best way, hide behind a suit, prim and proper writing style... (F.Y.I. statements like this piss off a translator).

This lead to me thinking I should blog again, but on my terms this time. 1. I won't limit myself to only one topic 2. I won't kill off any imaginary girlfriends for publicity (although if Manti Te'o used it to get sympathy sex instead of a Heisman he's much less of a douche bag and a borderline genius!) 3. Nothings off limits 4. I like interaction so comment and share 5. Quite simply fuck Bigger Pockets (now write a list of the top 20 blogs that say you ain't about shit and leave me off that one too!)